Tessa Faith

The next morning, we still had not delivered. I was given mild medicine to try to help me dilate more. My OB visited me that morning. I was so thankful that he was on-call in urgent care and said he would keep coming up to check on me and be the one who delivers Tessa.… Continue reading Tessa Faith

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Amnioreduction

The morning of Friday, June 16, 2017, was my next appointment. I couldn’t walk quickly. I couldn’t eat. I was short of breath and could barely sit comfortably. I couldn’t feel my baby moving anymore; only contraction after contraction. I knew that the fluid had to be at an even higher number now. The fluid… Continue reading Amnioreduction

Faith

I found myself looking at the sky at night asking God to help me get through the pain from the polyhydramnios. The fluid from Tessa became stronger and heavier in my belly, and the only relief was to take baths at night once my husband and daughter were asleep. I could not feel Tessa moving… Continue reading Faith

Taking on Fluid

At my next appointment, I met with my OB. He seemed concerned that we now had an extra hurdle with the polyhydramnios. It was already enough to know we might never bring a baby home, but now there was an extra health concern. Again, I turned around and said, “Here you go, God, hold this… Continue reading Taking on Fluid

Elephants and Memories

I put Tessa’s first 3D ultrasound proudly on the corkboard in the kitchen for everyone to see. I stared at her little face and wondered what I could do to make some memories. I decided that the best way to make memories would be to do the exact same thing I did for Tatum’s pregnancy.… Continue reading Elephants and Memories

Patience

I knew the next phone call from the hospital was going to be the results of the preliminary FISH test. I had prepared my mind for the moment the genetic counselor said, “Positive for Trisomy 18,” but it was still painful. In the following weeks, the amniocentesis would confirm that Tessa had “full” Trisomy 18.… Continue reading Patience

The Choice to Carry

It was the longest thirty-six hours of my life waiting for the next appointment. My family was on edge and we moved like zombies until Friday came. The morning of our appointment, I felt surreal. I sat at the kitchen table, trying to stay cheerful to trick the anxiety. I googled every finding from my… Continue reading The Choice to Carry